RESPONDING OR REACTING
by Paul Anderson

The same God who engineered the death of His Son is engineering your death and mine. His highest goal for us is that we are "conformed to the image of his Son" (Romans 8:29). So He gives us opportunities to die-through people who misunderstand us, irritate us, criticize us, oppose us, or ignore us. The problem is this: we are more accustomed to reacting to people than responding to God. So like a good teacher, He continues to design tests to teach us how to respond in a godly manner. The job of irritable people is to grow fruit in our lives. The fruit of the Spirit is not cultivated in good soil; it grows in bad soil. We don't develop mercy by having people show kindness to us; it is when others are unkind and we respond with grace that good fruit is produced. If it's easy to love someone, there's no growth. And if we only love those who love us and not our enemies, Jesus says, "What credit is that to you?" (Luke 6:34).

Testing means tension. We often interpret tension as a sign that something is wrong. In fact, it is a sign that something is at work. Tension means movement. And tension is required to grow spiritual fruit, because "the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other so that you do not do what you want" (Galatians 5:17). A civil war takes place within us when we are tested to respond in the opposite spirit, to return bad with good, to love in response to hate. It is not our normal way of dealing with wrong. Justice kicks in when we are treated unkindly, and we feel the need to pay people back. Words and actions come to mind, and it is difficult to keep them under control. But when the Spirit wins over the carnal nature, good fruit is developed.

Because God is a good Father training His children for maturity, as Graham Cooke says, "He allows, with his wisdom, what He could prevent with His sovereignty." Nothing is incidental or accidental while God is on the throne. He is orchestrating our growth, and He allows tension so we can go deeper. He is intentional and purposeful about everything. He wants us to come to the place where we refuse to be wounded, where we are dead to ourselves. When that happens, the life of Christ will flow out of us powerfully. What is God asking us to die to today? The life of the Spirit is about choices, right decisions, and lots of them, like getting up a little earlier, stepping out a little more, obeying more quickly, and keeping our mouths shut when we're tempted to complain. As Paul writes, "Those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires" (Romans 8:5). "Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation-but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it?If by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live" (Romans 8:12, 13b). You can be filled with the Spirit in a moment, but you still need to make right choices-and a long line of them. If you are not sowing to the Spirit, do not expect to harvest a spiritual crop next year.

School is in session 24-7. Life is a test, an opportunity to choose God's way rather than the way of bitterness, unforgiveness, irritation, or revenge. Everything is useful for us, especially the difficult things, because they bring tension which can produce growth, the thing we need and desire most. We don't have the right to be wounded when we are afflicted-we have the right to be healed. If you are stabbed and don't feel it? congratulations, you are dead. You have chosen not to be wounded. We want Christ-likeness in our lives, but we, like Peter, prefer the short cut, the pain-free options. There aren't any. No skipping classes, no mail-order degrees.

We are not responsible for what people do to us, but we are responsible for our responses. And according to author Charles Swindoll, life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it. God is more concerned about what happens in us than what happens to us. He is teaching us how to respond to Him rather than how to react to others. He is after character, Christ-likeness. That is what will cause the world to pay attention. The Church has been better at starting fights than at resolving them. The world looks on and is not impressed. We are acting just like they do. They say, "See how they hit one another."

What kind of person can return good for evil? One who is?Secure in the love of God and not dependent upon the affirmation of others. Filled with the Spirit of grace. Under the law people were permitted to get even up to a tooth for a tooth or an eye for an eye, but grace calls us to a higher standard. Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger (James 1:19). Committed to helping others grow up in Christ (Philippians 2:3,4) Caring enough to know the effect of the cause, who can read between the lines, so we don't react to their reaction. Taught by Christ to be gentle and peaceful (James 3:17,18).

What kind of person cannot respond in a godly manner to wrong? One who is? Too insecure to overlook an offense (Colossians 3:13). Wounded and not healed and therefore defensive. Full of jealousy or personal ambition (James 3:14,16). Only concerned for his or her own welfare.

What happens if we react to people rather than respond to God? We stir up more anger. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Proverbs 15:1). Reacting to evil intensifies it. We are defiled. Jesus made it clear that we are not defiled by what goes in but by what comes out (Mark 7:17-23). Unkindness toward others defiles us, regardless of what has been done to us. It is not "illegal" to suffer wrong, but it is illegal to respond wrongly. We frustrate the grace of God. He wants to pour out grace upon us, but if we react in our carnal nature, we shut off heaven's supply, because it is only given to the lowly. We play God. "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: `It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord" (Romans 12:19). We try to pay people back because injustice has been served, and we want to make sure they will get what is coming to them. God is more just than we are, and He will see that justice is carried out where it needs to be. He doesn't like it when we take His role and assume the prerogatives of deity. So He says, "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:20, 21). We deepen the wound in them. We harden our heart to another, which then hardens our heart to God. And we have just given someone the power to affect our relationship with God.

What happens if we respond in a Christ-like fashion?
 In us: Spiritual fruit is developed because it takes the power of the Spirit to overcome evil with good. The character of Christ is being produced in us. We receive what we give out. We give out kindness, and kindness returns to us. "Give, and it shall be given to you?For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" (Luke 6:38). What we want or need the most, we must give out the most. "Do to others as you would have them do to you" (Luke 6:31).We are promised a great reward by Jesus. "But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked" (Luke 6:35). We are acting like God (godly), and He will pay us back. He says in effect, "Now you are responding just like Me." He loves to reward us, and when we humble ourselves, He does. We become people of influence. The power of God flows through weakness. In our dependence, we become conduits of God's life-changing grace. Our response to difficult situations will either release God's mercy or close off divine power. It is easy to handle compliments, kindness, and consideration. That brings no response from heaven. But the overturning of evil does.

In them: They are disarmed by our surprising response and perhaps healed by our wounding, because we chose to be a victor rather than a victim, like Jesus on the cross. Grace is released in their lives because we took the road of humility. We "heap burning coals on their heads." The coals may refer to a response of repentance.

In the devil: He is frustrated, depressed, and denied access. He hates it when we don't give him room to plant the seeds of resentment in our hearts.

One of the ways we can practice overcoming evil is with telemarketers. We've all been annoyed by the untimely call that brings us in from the yard, only to be greeted by someone trying to sell us a new phone deal. I was forewarned by the nudging of the Spirit, so when Kent called asking if I needed any aluminum siding for my home, I told him that I didn't. I thought to myself, "If I had a lisp like him, I wouldn't be a telemarketer." Then I said, "I'll bet a lot of people hang up on you." He responded affirmatively. I thanked him for calling, then asked him what he would like in his life that I could pray for. He responded, "I'd like to get out of the crummy hotel and get a place of my own. And I'd like to get a different job." So I prayed over the phone, "Father, Kent wants to make a change. He wants a place of his own. Would you show him today how much you love him? Would you make it possible for him to move, to get a job that he likes, and to experience your love in his heart? Amen." When I finished, he said, "You made my day, you made my month, you made my year." And that made my day! Now I'm primed for telemarketers. What was an irritation became an opportunity. I wish I could say that I have always responded in this way. I am not proud of my reaction to agitation, but I desire to learn. I want to see grace released in the lives of people I encounter.

In the book Les Miserables, a hardened thief, Jean Valjean, steals from a priest who has kindly provided him a place to stay. When the thief is apprehended and brought to the priest by the police to ascertain his guilt, the priest says, to Jean's utter shock, "No, I gave him that silver. In fact, I gave him some other things that he didn't take." This Christ-like response began the process of healing in Jean. The burning coals brought repentance because the priest overcame evil with good; he returned injustice with love and contributed to the redemption of the criminal. Oh that the people of God could learn this powerful truth.

You know you are maturing when?Someone criticizes you and you don't react. You are misrepresented and you want to help the person who did it. Forgiveness runs ahead of revenge. You enjoy the test as much as the triumph. You are able to turn an irritation into a grace event.

If you are struggling in a difficult marriage, or finding yourself irritated by an impossible relative, or if you are agitated by an uncooperative neighbor, consider the power of overturning their evil with good. Jesus speaks these words into your situation: "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you" (Luke 6:27).

An associate in a company was being forced out by the CEO. A friend suggested that the resentful employee serve his boss rather than gossip about him to others, which he was doing. It didn't bring a change in the boss, but it allowed the associate to leave with a healthy spirit rather than with the cancer of resentment. Anyone can dump on someone who is unkind, but it takes the power of God to overcome evil with good. Marriages are cursed to mediocrity by carnal responses, but they are elevated to fruitfulness by Christ-likeness. Selfish reacting breaks friendships, but they are healed by Spirit-led choices. Churches are split by bitterness, but they are transformed by grace. Reacting is the easiest, most common way, but responding is the most influential way, just as the priest did. We don't have that kind of power, but the Holy Spirit within us does as we yield to Him.

The supreme act of good overcoming evil is the cross of Christ, in which the world gave its worst and God countered with His best - the spotless Lamb of God. Those who take their cue from the cross will be instruments of His redemptive purpose. Perhaps this prayer reflects your heart: "Dear Father, you have given me many opportunities to grow good fruit. I have all too often reacted in a fleshly and selfish manner, seeking to vindicate myself, protect myself, cover for myself, rather than to forgive or pray or bless. Please give me the power to pass the tests you allow to come my way. I pray that the fruit of the Spirit will be produced in me, for your glory and for the healing of others. Through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen."

Used by permission of Lutheran Renewal;2700 Rice Street;St. Paul, MN 55113; www.lutheranrenewal.org.