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THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN

by Dave Barry


If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be meetings.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

Your friends love you anyway.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.