* First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

* Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

* Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

* Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,think of Algebra.

* Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

* Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

* Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

* Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

* Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.